Hello to any lovely person that is reading this! I realise I haven't written anything since day one and two but to be perfectly honest I haven't had the energy or brain power to write anything. I have to say it's not been a breeze but as I'm curretly writing this I'm feeling good.
I've just come back from a really posistive group meeting, I've lost 3lbs this week, which isn't the biggest weight lost but I know where I went wrong. I haven't been drinking enough water for my body to help flush out and burn my fat. Needless to say I have a glass of water next to me as I'm typing! I also got measured tonight. I have lost 2.5 inches off my boobs (lets hope it's back fat rather than actual boob!), 3.5 off my waist, and 5.5 inches off my belly!!! I am very pleased with that belly measurement!!
The tough bits
My first weigh in (where I lost 12.5 pounds) was followed by a awful meeting. I had found the week challenging but had distanced myself from any talk of food. The group then spent most of the session speaking about particular foods. I felt betrayed that my one safe place had almost turned on me and spat me out! I got in my car and cried, very loudly, all the way home, and then a bit more! As it was a stand in counsellor I didn't want to speak to her about it and have waited until today when my normal counsellor was back. I have discussed it and moved on.
The tiredness has been quite extreme for me. I have never been partuclary overflowing with energy, mostly because of my weight and being a generally lazy person (I admit it!). Most days it would get to 6pm and it would be a struggle to lift a glass or get myself ready for bed. My counsellor has told me tonight to listen to my body, if I'm tired go to bed and sleep. Funnily enough tonight I am wide awake, so maybe my i've turned a corner. Lots of others (with less to lose) have gained energy already.
Lighterlife warns that a reaction to it may be, some hair loss, luckily I haven't had this. However I have developed a strange area of hair on the top of my head which constantly feels like it has hairspray in it! It doesn't change when I wash it, if I condition or if I don't. But really my body is feeling pretty strange and has a lot going on so I shall excuse it for now!
Weight loss
Week One : 12.5 pounds
Week Two: 7.7 pounds
Week Three: 3 pounds
Aim for next week is 4 1/2 pounds. I'll have a glass of water please!!
x
Monday, 24 October 2011
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Day One & Two
So yesterday was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I never felt starving, the worse effect was that come 6pm I was so tired. I picked a sheperds pie meal pack to have as my evening meal yesterday but found it quite tramatic! I had hoped for more than the pack could offer. I was hoping that my late evening hot chocolate would be a nice enjoyable end to the day but found that I had to knock it down like medicine.
I only had one temptation yesterday and that was a big slab of cake in the cupboard at work. Normally on a night shift I would have said 'oh I will have a bit of that later (with a big grin)' but I had to stop and think that I can't always say yes to everything!
I was just about to go to sleep last night when I stopped and thought 'I've done it!' day one is over, and even with some manky food packs, it wasn't even that bad!
Day two had a great start as I normally wake up feeling slow (to say the least), but this morning I was up, alert and off! I think some of this has to be because my stomach isn't full of food it's trying to process. I had a banana shake for breakfast which was ok and minestrone for lunch which was rather enjoyable! I've just had my evening food pack of spicy curry, and although lovely, I don't think my tummy can take that much spice very frequently.
But the best part of this post has to be that, when I went to see my LL counsellor to get rid of the dreaded sheperds pie, she encouraged me to get weighed. I was so happy to see that I have lost 5.2pounds already! Onwards and upwards now.
x
I only had one temptation yesterday and that was a big slab of cake in the cupboard at work. Normally on a night shift I would have said 'oh I will have a bit of that later (with a big grin)' but I had to stop and think that I can't always say yes to everything!
I was just about to go to sleep last night when I stopped and thought 'I've done it!' day one is over, and even with some manky food packs, it wasn't even that bad!
Day two had a great start as I normally wake up feeling slow (to say the least), but this morning I was up, alert and off! I think some of this has to be because my stomach isn't full of food it's trying to process. I had a banana shake for breakfast which was ok and minestrone for lunch which was rather enjoyable! I've just had my evening food pack of spicy curry, and although lovely, I don't think my tummy can take that much spice very frequently.
But the best part of this post has to be that, when I went to see my LL counsellor to get rid of the dreaded sheperds pie, she encouraged me to get weighed. I was so happy to see that I have lost 5.2pounds already! Onwards and upwards now.
x
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
The Beginning
Last night was the big night, I got to meet my group and choose my foodpacks. The group had 7 other newbies and three regulars who were lovely. There is a range of characters there and defintely some loud ones!!! Overall the group went well, we didn't get time for much discussion because there was so many people joining, but I am looking forward to hearing how everyone got on next week.
We also had our 'before' pictures taken and I can't help but think my counsellor was thinking 'if she sticks to the program the after pics will be drastic'. It gives me weird feeling, bad about myself now but proud for the future.
I found it really interesting that I didn't get emotional last night. I think having four weeks from the initial meeting until starting has allowed me to accept the program and approach it calmly.
I have found some useful words in some of the reading material I recieved. One tip is to wake up in the morning and imagine getting through the day, enjoying the foodpacks and going to bed with a real sense of pride. But todays motto is 'A journey of a thousand steps, starts with just one'.
Let the journey begin.
We also had our 'before' pictures taken and I can't help but think my counsellor was thinking 'if she sticks to the program the after pics will be drastic'. It gives me weird feeling, bad about myself now but proud for the future.
I found it really interesting that I didn't get emotional last night. I think having four weeks from the initial meeting until starting has allowed me to accept the program and approach it calmly.
I have found some useful words in some of the reading material I recieved. One tip is to wake up in the morning and imagine getting through the day, enjoying the foodpacks and going to bed with a real sense of pride. But todays motto is 'A journey of a thousand steps, starts with just one'.
Let the journey begin.
Friday, 9 September 2011
The Doc Says Yes!
This afternoon I met with my doctor and got my form signed and stamped for me to begin lighter life. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and I am very relieved that that bit is done.
I have also been so lucky to have so many nice wishes from those reading this blog and those I speak to on Twitter. It is amazing that people I have never even met have wished me well.
My friends and family have so far been supportive too. Today I had a little bump though and it's knocked me quite a bit. A colleague who had been so 'pushy' for me to go for it and lose weight on lighter life, and who constantly encouraged me to do it, really upset me today. She came and asked about my appointment and then before I could finish, she jumped in telling me a horror story of her friends husband who got really ill on it. She told me he lost 12 stone but was really ill, she didn't know how he got ill, or why he still continued on it if he was ill. She was telling me as if I shouldn't do it. So I went to the bathroom and cried! I think there has to be a point where I become stronger and listen to myself and not those that speak without thinking of the consequence. It's made me worried that others close to me might stop supporting me along the way. But I will never know until I continue my journey.
Now to organise my start day.
I have also been so lucky to have so many nice wishes from those reading this blog and those I speak to on Twitter. It is amazing that people I have never even met have wished me well.
My friends and family have so far been supportive too. Today I had a little bump though and it's knocked me quite a bit. A colleague who had been so 'pushy' for me to go for it and lose weight on lighter life, and who constantly encouraged me to do it, really upset me today. She came and asked about my appointment and then before I could finish, she jumped in telling me a horror story of her friends husband who got really ill on it. She told me he lost 12 stone but was really ill, she didn't know how he got ill, or why he still continued on it if he was ill. She was telling me as if I shouldn't do it. So I went to the bathroom and cried! I think there has to be a point where I become stronger and listen to myself and not those that speak without thinking of the consequence. It's made me worried that others close to me might stop supporting me along the way. But I will never know until I continue my journey.
Now to organise my start day.
Monday, 5 September 2011
I have made my decision to begin a lighter life. My name is Emma and I am medically obese. Typing that word is a big achievement for me. I am 25 years old, a bride to be and wanting a family after marriage.
I have always been large since I was very young. I can't remember a time when I haven't been overweight, or if I'm being honest, that should really say obese. When I was 21 I lost 4 and a half stone whilst following the slimming world program and exercising. I was still 19 stone at this time in my life, but it was honestly the time when I have felt the most posistive about my body. But then I took a break for a holiday and moved in with my partner. I left the area and thought that I knew the program well enough to go it alone. But I am now 25 and back where I was.
If you have ever been unhappy with your weight, you will know how soul destroying it is to dislike your own body. To people that have never experienced this, you can't come close to imaging it. I feel so much anger at myself to getting to this point, it lierally makes my heart boil.
I got engaged a year ago, and of course, like many brides, wanted to lose weight. But I stuck my head in the sand. I thought that once it became a year to the wedding date, that it would kick start my brain into losing weight. It didn't happen. I now have 256 days until the wedding. I reached the point last week where I realised I do not want to stay my current weight for my future wedding but my life after that day too.
I considered slimming world again, and then I considered the one plan I know would let me loose weight quick. My Mum had once done lighter life and lost 7 1/2 stone, I saw the emotional effect it had on her, it wasn't easy. I will say I am quite an opinionated person (putting it lightly), and I always swore I would never do lighter life, I considered it torture.
It is probably for that reason that I am finding the prospect of starting lighter life, a scary thing. I know that if I stick to lighter life, my life will change. The moment I made my decision was when I saw photos of myself at my brothers wedding. I thought I looked great that day, seeing the pictures made me look like an ape. The person in them photos isn't me, thats not who I feel I am. I want to be on the outside, what I am on the inside.
So tonight I met my lighter life counsellor, Alison, and she was lovely. There were tears from me, but Alison has told me to focus on losing one stone and take my journey from there. I need to get this into my brain and then the future doesn't seem so scary.
I am seeing my GP on Friday to get signed up and then arranging my first day date.
I'm going to get there, I just don't know when. x
I have always been large since I was very young. I can't remember a time when I haven't been overweight, or if I'm being honest, that should really say obese. When I was 21 I lost 4 and a half stone whilst following the slimming world program and exercising. I was still 19 stone at this time in my life, but it was honestly the time when I have felt the most posistive about my body. But then I took a break for a holiday and moved in with my partner. I left the area and thought that I knew the program well enough to go it alone. But I am now 25 and back where I was.
If you have ever been unhappy with your weight, you will know how soul destroying it is to dislike your own body. To people that have never experienced this, you can't come close to imaging it. I feel so much anger at myself to getting to this point, it lierally makes my heart boil.
I got engaged a year ago, and of course, like many brides, wanted to lose weight. But I stuck my head in the sand. I thought that once it became a year to the wedding date, that it would kick start my brain into losing weight. It didn't happen. I now have 256 days until the wedding. I reached the point last week where I realised I do not want to stay my current weight for my future wedding but my life after that day too.
I considered slimming world again, and then I considered the one plan I know would let me loose weight quick. My Mum had once done lighter life and lost 7 1/2 stone, I saw the emotional effect it had on her, it wasn't easy. I will say I am quite an opinionated person (putting it lightly), and I always swore I would never do lighter life, I considered it torture.
It is probably for that reason that I am finding the prospect of starting lighter life, a scary thing. I know that if I stick to lighter life, my life will change. The moment I made my decision was when I saw photos of myself at my brothers wedding. I thought I looked great that day, seeing the pictures made me look like an ape. The person in them photos isn't me, thats not who I feel I am. I want to be on the outside, what I am on the inside.
So tonight I met my lighter life counsellor, Alison, and she was lovely. There were tears from me, but Alison has told me to focus on losing one stone and take my journey from there. I need to get this into my brain and then the future doesn't seem so scary.
I am seeing my GP on Friday to get signed up and then arranging my first day date.
I'm going to get there, I just don't know when. x
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